Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
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