ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize