Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
