break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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