dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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