I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
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