ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
