I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
