i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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