I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize