Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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