someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
