So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
