Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
