making cat noises will not fix the situation.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
