I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
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He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
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Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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