when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
