your room smells of hookers.
And success
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
