I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
