Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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