At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
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