Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
