Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
