My sheets look like a crime scene.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
