Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Randomize
