so explain again why im purple
no
Where did you get a picture of my penis
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
