How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
