So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I have so many feelings about this burrito
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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