You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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