Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
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