ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
