The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
