You can't motorboat a personality
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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