i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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