I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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