i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
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all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
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I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.