she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.