I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
