New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
My boob is missing a layer of skin
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Randomize
