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I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
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