big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.