kristin has been a bad kristin
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
