If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
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