I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
dude. I can hear the air.
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