I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
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I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
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I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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