Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Just high enough for therapy.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Randomize
