69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
