The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
