I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
