Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
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