chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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