Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
