Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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