He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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