Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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