i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
