It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
