we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
