He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
