She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
