why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
